I felt a
warm sensitivity and fantastic intensity in the spring
of 2005. I want to thank for the dream that life gave.
My dream, fly away, and open the wing wide. I have not
wanted to be a normal girl for a long time. I may be a
little impudent, but I want to find what makes me special.
I want to prove that I am not common.
On the stage of art
One thing I really love
is watching movies. Sometimes I cannot interpret what the
director of the movie wanted to tell the audience, but
I still like watching many kinds of movies, one by one.
In that, I notice the deep emotion that floods inside me.
I was moved by the word
"Dream is reality" that somebody once said in
the movie. I like to see myself objectively as well as
imagine myself as the only main character and dream.
When I have nothing
to do, I like to go see art exhibitions. I like things
that are unique and new. Art exhibitions are interesting
places; it seems as if I can even hear my own pulse. I
wonder why nothing is as impressive as art in everyday
life. Those paintings have something in them that fascinates
all humans. I find out that I cannot live without those
splendid works. Then I am intoxicated by the painters'
dreams; I am liberated from the world. Everything around
me is new and interesting. Dreams are like a flower garden;
they are very beautiful and attractive.
Daydreaming under the sun
I look at the sky often.
It feels like I am on a ship in the middle of the ocean,
watching the clouds go by. Endless clear skies remind me
of the comfort my mother gave me in her arms. Mother's
warmth is like that of the sun. I also like sunbathing.
Winter sun is especially the best; it makes me feel sleepy.
I like winter. I dress myself with many layers of clothes,
and eat ice cream. Ice cream doesn't melt in winter time,
so I think ice cream is supposed to be eaten in winter.
If I were ice cream, I would probably argue about people
eating me in the summer time to cool them off. I would
tell them that the ice cream is not melting, but actually
crying. Do I sound strange? In everyday life, you sometimes
cannot get away from things you don't like or think are
useless. But I always find some ways to get around it and
enjoy myself. I heard that somebody once said, "If
there was an afterlife, I would like to go mad." I'm
not sure whether I can live as easy as I am now in my afterlife.
That's why I want to enjoy the time I have now. In my dream,
I am the quiet, mad girl.
Together with the roller
skate
On fine days where there
isn't even one cloud in the sky, I always go to the park.
At the park, there are always children who enjoy roller
skating. They are far from the age of "children" but
I want to call them that way. Looking at those "children" who
have taken off their brakes from their roller skates, I
can see their dreams from when they were little. Brakes
are no use to them – they aren't afraid of going passed
many people. I like the feel of flying over the ground.
Flying – jumping is another dream too. Their dream, and
also mine.
Dreams takes us to the future; there is a big white wing
to lead us. |
By watching the video "Deai", I was able to know
what the high school life was like for students outside China.
I was able to see the real life they were having and found
out that each person has his/her own life, even though it
may seem like all of us are having the same kind of days.
Those students do not only study, but have their own opinion.
They also know what kind of people they want to become. The
students in "Deai" have all kinds of different
hobbies: music, photo, pets… Just like them, I am a high
school student; however, I don't think I have ever laughed
from the bottom of my heart like they are able to. I used
to be able to, but the flow of time made me become gray.
My life is supposed to be as shiny and vivid as theirs, but
I had been forgetting about it. I think "Deai" gave
me the opportunity to think about what I want to do, what
kind of life I want to live, and what kind of person I want
to become. I'm sure there are still a lot more valuable things
in life which I didn't realize because they were there the
whole time. I think I know the importance now. I can choose
my own life. Sometimes, it is good to escape from the world
full of "books" and "textbooks," and
do what I really want to do. Certain things can only be done
now, when I am still seventeen. With the feeling of "hope" that
those high school students taught me in "Deai," I
am going on a voyage, to a very far place.
|